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Drewbie82
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Name: Khoi Ngo (Andrew)
Gender: Male
Interests: I enjoy drinking Jamba Juice.
I like some jazz on 88.1.
Treasure-hunting where it's dangerous.
The treasure: Earthly Folks.
Expertise: Unwanted talent: Being a hypocrite.
Occupation: Consulting
Industry: Computers (Software)
Message: message me
Member Since:
5/1/2003
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| My unlovable mess is ravaged by His timeless death and resurrection.
My pockets are full of nails, the nails that I use to hold my Christ to the cross.
For a moment is but a thousand years, and a thousand years, a moment.
You exist in the infinite now, still cleansing me of all unrighteousness.
I'm so sorry, my King.
I just got back from the Vibe Conference with the Newsong family and Tony Campolo! I was challenged on all three dimensions: physical, emotional, and spiritual. How do I live out the Red Letters of the Bible? How do I become a Red Letter Christian? I must destroy my self-constructed idols of Jesus, the one that fits my mold and makes me comfortable, and embrace the biblical Jesus.
During one of the breakout sessions on confronting the sex trade, I was moved to tears and sat dazed at the injustice that onslaughts the least and oppressed, from adults, single women, young teens, children aged 3 and 4, to 18 months babies, whose lives were destroyed and enslaved by the wicked. There are more slaves today than the days when slavery was legal. Here I am, my life comfortable and indifferent, seduced and bought into the American dream, the affluent life, hoarding as much as I can, pursuing only my own happiness and "success", when a measly 30 dollars a month can save a child from starvation. What have I done?
In the midst of it all,
my own imperfection,
my brokenness became meshed with Christ
he absorbed my sins today
cleansed me from all unrighteousness
his holy Spirit fills me
my heart was wrenched
with the breaking of God's heart
In that moment, He spoke into the depths of my heart...
Do not forget who you are, Khoi.
You belong to me. You belong to me.
I've purchased you for a price.
I've paid for your freedom with my life.
Therefore live your life in a manner worthy of my Name.
-God
(Micah 6:8)
He has showed you, O man, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.
(Proverbs 24:11-12)
Rescue those being led away to death;
hold back those staggering toward slaughter. If you say, "But we knew nothing about this,"
does not he who weighs the heart perceive it?
Does not he who guards your life know it?
Will he not repay each person according to what he has done?
With my heart and my mouth, I proclaim:
(Luke 4:18-19)
The Spirit of the Lord is on me,
because he has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
and recovery of sight for the blind,
to release the oppressed,
to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor.
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| I dream of a Dream
That one day i may be redeemed
I struggle the struggle
With the evil hearts desires
I talk of the talk
About maybe beginning a new walk
i fight the fight
with my evil heart's desires
I fail and i fail
After I try and I try
I cry and i cry
with my evil heart's desires
with my evil heart
with my evil desires
Poem by Kenny Tran
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| He is jealous for me,
He loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by Glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
and how great Your affections are for me.
And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us so
Yeah, He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.
We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
and if His grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t the have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way... that..
He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.
- John Mark McMillan | | |
| Lately, I've been thinking more frequently about life and death. Because I spent this year around my parents more consistently than others, I started to reflect on our relationship and past. My parents were refugees of Vietnam. My dad was a fisherman of a small boat in Lousiana. He would sleep on the boat in the cold ocean to bring in early morning catches. I remember getting real excited when he would return home from his month long trips. He would bring us these enormous spider crabs from the bottom of the ocean. He would exclaim proudly to us, "These are a rare catch and I've saved them for you guys." Of course, this was all in Vietnamese. My mom would stay up late until 3am to sew clothes to make money to pay for food when my parents first arrived in the States. I remember a time when my mom's finger bled so profusely because the
sewing needle had impaled her finger. She was so exhausted one evening
that her eyes were dull and blurred from sewing that she didn't realize
her finger was in the way. My parents had lived and gave sacrifically
for me and my brother.
I am
very blessed to have them for parents as I recall more and more of our time together. God has been with us this whole journey and eventually blessed my dad with a job close to his family. My dad has been working for 18 years straight to support my family and served as a technician for Sony, while my mom raised and taught us Christian values and wisdom. About two years ago, he was laid off. We no longer have health insurance.
Over the last two years, I saw my parents aged and their quality of life and health deteriorated. My dad's joints had stiffened and he could no longer use his right shoulder without experiencing excruciating pain. He is no longer working. My mom developed a thin membrane over her left retina which contracted her eye, which caused her vision to warp. She may need surgery for that. She is a petite and frail woman. This past month, she strained a vital muscle and nerve that caused her to whimper the whole night. With each movement, she would be paralyzed in pain. It was hard seeing my mom in such a painful state yet be able to do nothing. My friends had suffered losses in their families, while others were going thru a rough season of chemotherapy. It's easy to say, "God is control of your situation." But when you're shouldering the weight and pain, when the heart's burden is too heavy, it's difficult to hope and see.
Feeling the weight of my parents and friends struggle and difficult situations, I am forced to think on life.
Life is fragile and brief.
1) That goes for my mind and sanity - rationale, understanding, comprehension, knowledge, etc.
2) That goes for my physical body - eyes, ears, mouth, hands, feet, joints, bones, cardiovascular, respiratory, endo, etc.
3) That goes for my time on Earth.
Given that these 3 components are limited, finite, and that I'm not guaranteed a duration of quality and peak-performance, am I investing my life wisely?
I can lose my sight the next day. I can develop cancer a year from now. I can get hit by a car and lose my ability to move. I can lose my mind and not be able to communicate sound wisdom. Anything can happen within a moment. My spirit is sad and sober because I know I still invest in areas that are wasting my mind and body that are not worth pouring into. As I reflect and think on it, I sense a strong push to shed.
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